AznGrl's Xanga

successful day :3

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:11:09 GMT

so i stayed up all night and mom and i went walking around the local high school track around 8. we got back to the house around 9. because bath and body works is having a huge sale this month, i was determined to go to one today. we were planning to go right when the mall opened at 10:30, but mom took one look at my sleep-deprived face and told me that we would go later. she was so scared i'd fall asleep at the wheel that she even drove to me work [ive felt fine all day...]. this worked out tho, cuz she picked me up and then we went shopping :D so yeah we got a lot of stuff...im quite happy. we're prolly gonna go every week to see wat else they have :D :D :D!!

so today i "got up" early, exercised, ate 3 square meals, worked, and shopped. it was a pretty good day. now, at 11:11 pm, im going to bed.

make a wish! :3

Sleepless Night and other thoughts

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 10:14:33 GMT

Mind you, this is probably the 3rd all-nighter I've ever done...wait...no...second? Yes, second all-nighter. Well, maybe the first. But it's a little early to tell.

Recently I've been forcing myself to go to bed about 2-3. I'm not even tired then. I lay awake, shifting around, trying to think pleasant thoughts so I can fall asleep, and I never get around to it until late. Then because of my work, my alarm goes off at 11-11:30 so I can get up, shower, eat lunch, and go to work by 1. If it wasn't for work, I might even sleep until around 1. I'm just so tired nowadays, but I can never sleep when i want to. It doesn't help now that I've actually fallen into routine, which makes me miss my friends in indy/bsu. Every time I go to bed I want to cry. I miss everyone so much. One person in particular. I think I tried talking about my sleeping problems to two of my best friends...but I don't think I emphasized it enough to let them know it was really bothering me. It's cold up here in Connecticut. I don't fit in here. Everyone is nice to me, but I just can't seem to get completely comfortable like I can in Indiana. Ah, what the heck, my sleep-deprived brain is rambling. I've been really moody lately, and I don't know why I'm like this. I feel that...I'm suppressing something. Missing something. But I'm not sure what...or maybe I do know. And I don't want to admit it.

Meh, I've been watching too many Asian dramas.

To go to back on the all-nighter count, if I stay awake all day until the "proper" bedtime, this'll be the first all-nighter. I pulled one freshman year of college, just to finish the first season of Heroes :P Second time was because a friend was missing and I stayed up all night worried...and then promptly fell asleep when the friend was found. Then another time...I forget why I did it. But I fell asleep around 9 or so. Today I plan to run around the local high school track at 8 with my Mom. I'm still boggled at why this high school lets the public in to use their track...Heritage would've never allowed it XD Anyways, then because of a special sale at Bath & Body Works, Mom and I are going to the mall when it opens at 10:30 promptly to see what they got. Theeenn I suppose we'll eat lunch and she'll send me to work. Hopefully I can keep myself occupied after work so I won't collapse afterwards. I'm feeling pretty good now, earlier my head felt like it was going to float off. One more hour...one more hour and I'll go outside and re-energize myself.

I think I know why I've been feeling so empty lately. I'm also trying to change myself. Change myself for the better. Become more independent, thoughtful, and reliable. Most of you are probably thinking I'm being ridiculous, but this is what I mean by me changing by the time I go back to school. I know one of my charming points is that I'm all "sugary" and cheer people up. I act childish at times and I let everyone know how I feel. Well...I've been doing that, and it seems that it's time that childish Megan moved on. My whole life I've been indecisive. My current major is just English just because...I can't think of being anything else but a wife and mother after college. I've looked up to my Mom my entire life, and I used her as an example. Granted, my mom worked before getting married, and after too, but as soon as she had me, she quit. So my whole life I've been aspiring to be her...and it's getting me nowhere. It's scared all my boyfriends away. I always try to think ahead and I end up getting myself involved in situations that don't even relate to me. I always think I'm doing the right thing, but really, I'm not. Even if I didn't mean it, it still can hurt. Being indecisive isn't going to get me anywhere either. Now, this doesn't mean I'll change my major...but I need to find something more to do in this life. Next year I aspire to be a more serious person. I'll still have fun. But I won't get myself tangled into so many emotional things next year. This summer is the perfect time for a "personality change". I'm also trying to change my look to match that. Every day, I am endlessly resisting the urge to depend on the people I love the most [except for my parents...I'm kinda forced to do that], so don't all of you call me at once. This is something I have to do on my own. I haven't been calling people lately because...I'm trying not to get dependent on anyone. And by the time this summer is over, I won't even think about, "Oh, I can't do this because it'll make me clingy" and hopefully, it will have become a habit. I'll hopefully have turned into someone I can finally be proud of.

In short, my heart won't accept the fact that I'm trying to be independent, so until then, I guess I'll be feeling lonely.

not like anyone noticed...

Sun, 31 May 2009 02:03:27 GMT

i didnt blog the last 2 days, mainly cuz nothing special really happened. i havent been getting anything to do at work. then i laze around and watch dramas and wat-not. woopee.

tomorrow im going to start running. i kno, gasp, megan doing physical stuff?? [that sounded weird...]. but seriously, my alarm's set for 7:15, im running before i go to church. which means i'll be super exhausted and hopefully i'll sleep around 11-12 from now on. but i keep getting such horrible dreams now that i sleep in, my mom says she heard me crying in my sleep this morning. thats kinda freaky. so, going to change my sleeping pattern, and get outside more.

today was a weird day. after waking up from a disturbing dream, i finished coffee prince [i started watching it 2 days ago...haha] for the THIRD time. good korean drama. i highly recommend it. now im starting to read the manga "boys over flowers" cuz the series finally finished last year. so old!! it started in 1992! then i guess afterwards i'll rewatch meteor garden, the taiwanese drama series based on that manga. super long series...this'll be an interesting time.

lately ive been missing people from indy a lot. i think its because im finally settled into a routine in CT that nothing really exciting happens anymore. and i look up at the calendar and realized im about to flip it to june. just 2 more flips, and i should be seeing old friends again :D ah~ but really ive been pretty sad going to bed...maybe thats why i get weird dreams.

maybe something will happen in june that'll cheer me up. until then, im just stuck in a routine...bleeehh.

lazy holiday

Tue, 26 May 2009 05:52:37 GMT

hm, so today i woke up at noon, to my shock. i think i went to bed around 2, so 10 hrs?? it was cloudy in CT, so i kept thinking it was early and would go back to sleep after waking up. i literally rolled out of bed [my "bed" is composed of 2 mattresses on top of each other, so its pretty low] and actually stumbled to the bathroom. then my mom greeted me with a chirpy "good morning!" while i collapsed on the couch and groaned about how my head hurt. i spose i'll be doing that same routine if i ever take up drinking too much. ha ha ha...

so this ENTIRE day ive been watching the big bang theory, and HILARIOUS tv show that i got really into my freshman year of college, and i kept forgetting to look up its schedule this past season. so im done w/ that. yay. and just in time, cuz tomorrow i start work, and i wouldnt have much time to watch episodes one after another. but BECAUSE of my big bang theory marathon, my mom got annoyed at me today -_- she invited me to take a walk outside after dinner, and when i responded, "no" and kept watching "tv", she went on one of her "i cant believe how much uve changed since u went to ball state!" rants. well 1] its bc ive been away from u guys and i dont get told wat to do! and 2]...well, yeah! thats it! my entire life my parents kept me in their sights pretty much the entire time and it took great lengths to get me to hang out w/ friends OUTSIDE of a school or church setting. i really thought they wouldnt bitch at me this summer bc 1] i came back to freakin connecticut [no offense to my CT friends...] 2] im taking a class at quinnipiac and 3] i got a job!! i mean, wat more do they want [besides grandkids, and its way too early]?? JUST because i refused to walk w/ her, my mom becomes a huge...poohead. hmph.

anyways, my cat was super cute today, as usual, and is currently...oh, sleeping on my bed. poor thing, im gonna hafta carry her off when i go to bed soon T__T

well i finally got my class situation all figured out...sort of. registrar sent me an email saying i was registered and that i could use "webadvisor" to view them. problem, what the heck is webadvisor?? so i searched on quinnipiac's website and found it. and after a little poking around i found wat class i was signed up for...had no information on it. so i dont even kno if im supposed to check blackboard or not. AND blackboard said i wasnt signed up for classes...?? bah. i dont remember how i learned how to use ball state's website.........to be honest, quinnipiac's sucks. even dad says so. meh meh meh. BUT. the class im taking is actually being taught by a lady i work with! lucky for me working at the quinnipiac online center ::nodnod:: soooo i spose i could ask her questions n stuff too. whee!

on a final note, even tho its late, happy memorial day everyone.

urgle

Mon, 25 May 2009 05:48:02 GMT

bah i forgot to blog. I DONT WANNA. but i told myself i had to this summer >________> sooooooo lets make this super quick:

today i found my cat. refer to my note before this.

after church we had a heckuva time trying to figure out who was driving and who was going to ikea. we ended up going separately and 7-8 ppl showed up and we barely shopped. boo.

i got back and i started watching the 1st season of the big bang theory. LOVE the show. apparently i had seen all of the first season and i forgot about that. i just watched the 1st episode the second season. cant wait to finish it tomorrow.

um.....i dont have work tomorrow.

wow ok i didnt have that much to write about i guess.

OH WAIT.

yeah, i saw a guy peeing on the side of the road today. i saw everything. EVERYTHING. in a flash. it was........horrible. he wasnt even peeing on the side of the road, it was between an exit ramp and the road, so ppl on both sides could probably see his.......package. sigh. why me. my brain only had about .5 seconds to realize that the stance the guy was standing in was oddly familiar and BAM...

ok enough of that. wat a lovely image to go to bed with......

and YES it was a big black guy, make all the jokes u want!!

roller coaster day

Sun, 24 May 2009 02:56:54 GMT

so i slept near the front door last night, SUPER uncomfortably, bc i kept waking up to every single little sound, thinking it was my cat coming home. i dont remember how i did it, but i got up from the couch sometime in the early morning and got back into my own bed. faith called about 11 and i woke up super confused and stared at my fone for a while before picking up. after that, i took a shower, and got ready to go shopping w/ faith, her mom, jane, my mom, and...me. we arrived at faith's house at 1, and we all piled into her car and drove to the west hartford mall. i bought a graphic tee from american eagle and a cool jacket from pac sun. AND 3 lipsticks from bath and body works. west hartford mall is SO much better than the mall my parents and i usually go to. it was nice. and on memorial day, we might do something again. but yeah, i really want to go back and buy bras there. but bras are really expensive...

after shopping, we went to trader joe's! apparently they dont have many trader joe's up here, so it was a treat, i spose. then we went to faith's house. mom left, and betty came over! and then we all made spaghetti and ate dinner. we still wanted to hang out, so we decided to go to stephanie's house. jane brought brought a bunch of liquor [i was the only underage person there, and i didnt drink] and we all pretty much drank [i had a shirley temple], ate chips n salsa, and talked. we sort of watched tv too. then we started watching an old robin williams movie, but i left around 10:30.

today's blog sucked. i miss my cat. shes not back yet, obviously, otherwise i wouldve said something. sigh. i called animals shelters in the area, but obviously, theyre not going to get my message until tuesday. bc i work at the quinnipiac online center, hopefully my boss can get me registered for SO 101 online. cross ur fingers.

tomorrow, we're all going to ikea for lunch and shopping. i cant believe ive only known about ikea for a only a week, and i already like it so much.

i want my cat back.

weird day

Sat, 23 May 2009 03:19:16 GMT

so my day started up at 11 am when my alarm went off. i took a shower and headed off to quinnpiac's registrar's office. i forget if i said this already, but quinnipiac sent me an email saying that i wasnt registered for classes. so i checked in and they said my class got canceled. bc AASA's retreat might be august 6, i cant risk taking summer 2 classes just in case i have to leave early. they offer sociology online, but my dad replied to my email saying he wont have any of that online classes stuff. soo i dont kno wat to do about that. sigh.

my mom lost my cat. im worried sick. theres other cats around and me-me's declawed. i keep thinking a car hit her or kids stole her. aaauuggh!!!

on a brighter note, i dont have work on monday. and im going shopping with jane and faith tomorrow :D so...sigh. keep my head up high.

kinda tired, and skyping shuennming, so im gonna stop blogging here.

bored.

Fri, 22 May 2009 03:38:03 GMT

well my old laptop and our desktop have been acting funny, so we havent touched them all day. of course, this means mom has to use my computer. some reason, she thinks mine is COMPLETELY different, and had to keep asking me every 2 minutes how to use something. i swear, if heads could explode from frustration, mine wouldve done it already. so since dad's in hong kong, we call each other using skype. mom woke me up at 6 am for my password for my skype account. i told her she could use her own username that i created for her on my old computer. and since my old computer was being weird then, it didnt go through, but we re-created it on my computer...which she somehow forgot, even though she was standing right next to me. so now she keeps thinking for every computer we need a new name, so she kept insisting she couldnt use hers. i finally just gave up arguing with her, and got up and signed on using her name, proving her wrong. i fell asleep, somehow, and then i wake up nearly sweating, and moms sleeping next to me. now, i dont usually mind sleeping with my mom, but when ur room is the hottest in the summer, it pissed me off a little. she hears me wake up and then shes like, "oh, i cant go shopping with u this morning, i forgot i had something." so i reach over to my clock to turn off my 9:45 alarm, and im shocked to see its 8:30. im like, "AAAUUUUGGGHHHH" and i jump out of my bed and go to my moms bed, which is nice n cool. also, the sun shines into my room, and it doesnt into hers, so it was dark as well. i fell asleep pretty fast, oddly enough. my alarm went off at 11:30, and i woke up pretty disoriented. i took a shower and got dressed for work by 12:15. i was eating lunch when mom got back, and i was still a little cross about the morning. just now, my mom decided to apologize =_= said she was paranoid that skype was going to ring and she wasnt going to hear it. she couldnt have taken it out of the room??? its a LAPTOP, not a DESKTOP, use your brain!!

anyways, today at work, i just inputted a bunch of people's names into the quinnipiac online school. i got a lot done :D but after work...eh, i really had nothing to do. i tried calling noel, and he ended up being busy. then i called dave, and i got passed around to whoever was there, so i talked to max and lila a bit. then.....gasp, i watched actual television shows! CSI, flashpoint, and pimp my ride were on. pretty sweet, i guess. i almost purchased something online, but mom said to look for it in stores first before getting it, which i was surprised about, bc she usually doesnt let me buy stuff online. i guess she figured since now im actually working, its my money, so i can use it for w/e. i guess its kinda good i didnt buy it yet, cuz the product was $9.95, but shipping was freakin $12!!! gr. it might be worth it tho. we shall see...

i didnt realize memorial day was next monday, i thot it was next next monday. that explains y i have school starting on tuesday. altho, it makes me wonder if i have the day off.........bc i would want to go shopping for sales...but i guess i'll ask my boss tomorrow. speaking of which, his fone number in my cell is under, "The Boss" and "Like A Boss" by The Lonely Island plays XD the clean part tho...none w/ taking a sh*t on deborah's desk or finding a fish and...well...yeah.

PROMOTE SYNERGYYYY [LIKE A BOSS]

work!

Thu, 21 May 2009 05:28:26 GMT

so today was my first day of work! it was pretty uneventful, just getting to kno the place. my boss just showed me wat i usually do and i pretty much chilled on computers. the thing that was most frustrating was that quinnipiac doesnt seem to kno me? i logged on fine w/ my username and pw, but now that im at home, i cant do that anymore. so i dont kno wtf is happening, i even reset my pw. i got an email from registration that im not enrolled in classes, and i just got an invoice and already paid my "tuition" [just $25 for the technology fee since im covered by dad's employment there]. computers in general dont seem to agree w/ me today, my old computer and the desktop at home are being difficult, so mom kept whining for me to help and i was on the end of my...w/e u call it for frustration. wit! i was at my wit's end. sooo to calm down ive been watching project runway on youtube, haha. i love that show :3 dont wanna be as skinny as those models tho...beh.

another fun thing was i video skyped w/ my bro shuennming. it was pretty amusing :D skype me! my username is mjliu01.

so tomorrow i have work, and more project runway. hopefully computers wont be such a bitch tomorrow.

short entry, im tired.

the pros n cons of home decorating

Wed, 20 May 2009 01:02:00 GMT

so its a lil early for me to be blogging, but i have a TON to say. aaaahh where to start~

so today's my last day of freedom during the weekdays cuz i officially start work tomorrow! M-F, 1-5. so i spose i could hang out in the morning...and evening? so bc of that, mom and i decided to have a shopping day. and wat better place to introduce mom to than ikea :D well, i was getting more than i bargained for...

originally, i just wanted to buy the nightlight that i saw sunday, and maybe a hanging clothes organizer. i ended up getting a nightlight, a hanging shoe organizer [the clothes one prolly couldnt fit all of my clothes, plus, i have more closet and drawer space in next year's dorm], a hanging net for stuffed animals [FINALLY] and a throw. a throw blanket? wat're u sposed to call them?

so mom and i ended up getting to ikea about 11:30, and we're both sooo hungry. we eat at the cafe[teria] and moms super impressed already. hehehe~. she got the penne pasta and i got the swedish meatballs [on sunday, it was the other way around when jane and i ate]. then we start walking around, and mom spots a chair she REALLY likes. funny enough, i realized its the same chair i liked sunday as well, except i saw it in a different location, so i didnt realize it until later. mom also finds a storage bin that doubles as a bench, and she wants to put shoes and house slippers inside. i record all these down, bc u get ur furniture downstairs [when u go to ikea, u start on the 2nd floor]. we finally reach the end of the 2nd floor, and its the kids section, w/ cute stuff! i got a super cute nightlight and a net which u can hang from the ceiling to put stuffed animals in. i REALLY needed that. but, uh, i have no idea how im gonna hang stuff from the ceiling next year...i want to say the ceiling's higher o__0 we'll figure that out later...

we both get downstairs and thats when mom finds a bunch of stuff she likes. she decides to buy 2 throw [blankets?] 1 red, 1 dark blue, to match our dark blue couch. i warned her that the blue might not match, but she decided to buy it anyway. we also got a light thing, which me and jane REALLY liked on sunday. and got a hanging shoe organizer. we found the chair mom wanted, but they were out of stock T_T so sad. we shall return in 3 wks! luckily, we found the storage bin, which was about to be sold out, and we left ikea pretty happy. oh yeah, we also bought swedish meatballs and the gravy that came with it. nummy~

so we get home and i assemble the light thing pretty quickly. when i start opening the box w/ the storage thing, my mom was all like, "oh no, it doesnt match the entertainment center!!". so we end up going to home depot, and spend some time determining what stain color to get, brushes to use, polish to put over it, blah blah blah. we get home, and im about to stain the wood when mom decides to wait and take a nap. so i pass the time by watching code geass r2 [almost done!!!]. mom wakes up and shes like, "u kno wat, i just had a dream that we shouldnt stain the wood". im like, "okay.......? makes my job easier!". so then we begin assembling the thing. already, on step 1, i mess up. if u look at the pics on fb, u see ure only sposed to put 2 plugs in this one piece. well, there were 3 holes, so i put 3 of them in [thats wat he said?????]. and it ended up going too deep [thats wat she said..........]. so, um, we couldnt get it out, and we went back to ikea to exchange it. oy oy, wat a mess. so we come back home, and i make sure i did it right, and now, YAY, we got a cool place to put stuff in. dad's gonna be so impressed when he comes back :D but my hands hurt...SO much. it was SO hard to screw things in.

enough with the "that's what she said already" >_>

but anyways, im quite proud of myself, and now im gonna finish r2 and start work tomorrow!...at 1 pm. if im late, i should be ashamed of myself.